Sunday, February 29, 2004

An Old Farmer... 

An old farmer named Brett had owned a large farm for several years.  He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice; picnic tables, horseshoe courts, football field, etc. 

The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.  One evening Brett decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond.

He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end of the pond. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"

Brett replied, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim or make you get out of the pond naked. "I only came down here to feed the alligator."


Check out Buccaneer Jon as the Pack-O-Dile Hunter.
Moral:  Old age and treachery will triumph over youth and skill.

Saturday, February 28, 2004

As Seen Live At Lambeau... 

Could It Be...

It's The Minneapolis Maestro's Themselves,
Phil, Matt and TK.


Thursday, February 26, 2004

Beauty Is Skin Deep... 

Bahtman! 

Check out the new full size wallpaper image of Bahtman!

Wednesday, February 25, 2004

Compare For Yourself! 


Championship Histories
Green Bay Packers  12-3

1929  1-0 1st Place  
1930  2-0 1st Place  
1931  3-0 1st Place  
1936  4-0 Boston Redskins 21-6 
1938  4-1 New York Giants 17-23
1939  5-1 New York Giants 21-0 
1944  6-1 New York Giants 14-7 
1960  6-2 Philadelphia Eagles 13-17
1961  7-2 New York Giants 37-0 
1962  8-2 New York Giants 16-7 
1965  9-2 Cleveland Browns 23-12
1966 10-2 Kansas City Chiefs 35-10
1967 11-2 Oakland Raiders 33-14
1997 12-2 New England Patriots 35-21
1998 12-3 Denver Broncos 24-31
Minnesota Vikings  0-4

1970 0-1 Kansas City Chiefs  7-23
1974 0-2 Miami Dolphins  7-24
1975 0-3 Pittsburgh Steelers  6-16
1977 0-4 Oakland Raiders 14-32

 
 Brought to you by the Meat Slicers Club.  Accepted Everywhere!

Flogging A Dead Horse... 


Thanks to Jon for finding this for us...
   Flog me again...

Sunday, February 22, 2004

So True It Hurts... 

Why I Love Lambeau... 



When it's winter in Lambeau, the gentle breezes blow.  Seventy miles per hour, at forty-two below!

Oh how I love Lambeau, when the snow's up to your butt.  You take a breath of Winter air, and your nose just freezes shut.

Yes, the weather here is wonderful, so I guess I'll hang around.  I could never leave Lambeau, 'cause I'm frozen to the ground!

Saturday, February 21, 2004

Flogging A Dead Horse... 


Thanks to all who emailed!
It's the first day of school and the teacher thought she'd get to know the kids by asking them their name and what their father does for a living.

The first little girl says: "My name is Mary and my Daddy is a postman."

The next little boy says: "I'm Andy and my Dad is a mechanic."

Then one little boy says: "My name is Johnny and my Father is a striptease dancer in a cabaret for gay men."

The teacher gasps and quickly changes the subject, but later in the school yard the teacher approaches Johnny privately and asks if it was really true that his Dad dances nude in a gay bar.

He blushed and said, "No, I'm sorry I said that. My Dad plays football for the Vikings and I was just too embarrassed to say so."


Flog me again...

Sheena Is A Pack Rocker! 


There is a Mama lion, a Daddy lion & a Baby lion. The mama lion & the daddy lion were having a lot of fights so they decided to get a divorce. The lion family goes in front of a Judge to decide custody of the baby lion.

The Judge asks the baby lion "Do you wanna live with mama lion?"

The baby lion answers "No, mama lion beats me."

Then the Judge said "Alright, do you wanna live with daddy lion?"

The baby lion answers "No, daddy lion beats me worse."

The Judge asks "Do you know who you wanna live with then?"

The baby lion answers "No...".

The Judge then says "O.K. I'll place you in the custody of The Detroit Lions, they don't beat anybody."

Be sure to check out the Palace Pinups for more images of Sheena.

Friday, February 20, 2004

Bears Football Presented By Bank One 


See Batman battle the New York Jokers.
The Chicago Bears have a new stadium, and some new stadium firsts.

1.) 1st touchdown ever in new Soldier Field - Green Bay Packers
2.) 1st field goal ever in new Soldier Field - Green Bay Packers
3.) 1st sack ever in new Soldier Field - Green Bay Packers
4.) 1st blocked punt ever in new Soldier Field - Green Bay Packers
5.) 1st 100-yard rusher ever in new Soldier Field - Ahman Green, Green Bay Packers
6) 1st Bears interception ever in new Soldier Field - Green Bay Packers
7.) Most touchdowns ever thrown in new Soldier Field - Three. Record held by Brett Favre, Green Bay Packers
8.) Most rushing yards ever in a game in new Soldier Field - 176 yards. Record held by Ahman Green, Green Bay Packers
9.) Most rushing touchdowns in a game in new Soldier Field - Two. Record held by Ahman Green, Green Bay Packers

More Bears Football Presented By Bank One 

What quarterback holds the following records in *Old* Soldier Field?

1.) Most passing yards
2.) Most completions
3.) Most starts
4.) Most touchdowns -- 47

It's a Bears quarterback right? After all, they play 8 home games there a year, right? Is it the famous Jim McMahon? Erik Kramer? Cade McNown? How about Bob Avelini? No, Bears fans, it can only be the greatest quarterback to ever set foot in Soldier Field - new or old. You know who it is, right?

Give up?

Let me give you a hint.... he wears No. 4.




Thursday, February 19, 2004

A Packer, A Viking and Pamela... 

A Packer fan, a Viking fan, and Pamela Anderson are sitting together in a train traveling through Switzerland when the train enters a tunnel and the car goes completely dark. There's a kissing noise, and then the sound of a really loud slap. When the train comes out of the tunnel, Pamela Anderson and the Packer fan are sitting as if nothing had happened, and the Viking fan is holding his slapped face.

The Viking fan is thinking, "That Packer fan must have kissed Pamela Anderson and she swung at him and missed, slapping me instead." Pamela Anderson is thinking, "That Viking fan must have tried to kiss me, accidentally kissed the Packer, and got slapped for it." And the Packer fan is thinking, "This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel, I'll make another kissing noise and slap that Vikings fan again."

Arthur Davidson Goes To Heaven... 

The inventor Arthur Davidson, of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Corporation, died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven."

Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God." St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God. Arthur then asked God, "Hey, aren't you the inventor of woman?"


Check out Vince and Jeri on the V-Rod.
God said, "Ah, yes."

"Well, " said Arthur, "professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention:

1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion.
2. It chatters constantly at high speeds.
3. Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much.
4. The intake is placed way to close to the exhaust and finally,
5. The maintenance costs are outrageous."

"Hmmmm, you may have some good points there," replied God, "hold on."

God went to his Celestial super computer, typed in a few words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.

"Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed," God said to Arthur, "but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours."

Tuesday, February 17, 2004

Quest For The Ring... 

The Minnesota Vikings have a new line of cologne. It's a little different though; you wear it and the other guy scores.

Q: How do the Vikings count their Superbowl Trophies?
A: 0-1, 0-2, 0-3, 0-4

The Great Green Wizard Shermdalf from Lord Of The Ringless.

Q: Why are the Vikings the color purple?
A: Because if you'd been choking for 44 years, you'd be purple too!

Q: What has eight arms and an I.Q. of 60?
A: Four Viking Fans watching a football game.


Definition of an optimist: A Minnesota Viking fan waiting at the Airport for the Vikings to return from winning the Super Bowl.

Q: Why do the Vikings eat their cereal from a plate?
A: Because they lost all four of their bowls.

Monday, February 16, 2004

Flogging A Dead Horse... 


Thanks to Statfox for this "priceless" picture and everyone
else for emailing it to us.
A quick 6-0 start out of the gate.

Impressive.

Losing 5 of the next 6 games and dropping to 7-5.

Disappointing.

Continuing the freefall finishing 9-7 after blowing a 17-6 lead over the lowly Arizona Cardinals and losing the division to your arch rivals the Green Bay Packers and missing the playoffs.

PRICELESS!


Flog me again...

True 


Picture supplied by another Packer Palace Fanatic...
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.

Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?

I replied, "It depends, what does it say on your shirt?"

He yelled back, "Green Bay Packers..."

Two Boys Are Skating... 

Two boys are skating in a park in Chicago when suddenly a rottweiler starts attacking one of the boys. The other boy takes a stick and puts it in the collar of the dog and twists it and breaks the dogs neck saving the boy. A nearby reporter sees this and starts writing in his notebook, "Local Cubs Fan Saves Boy From Vicious Attack".

The boy says I am not a Cubs fan. Oh the reporter says, starts writing again, "Local Bears Fan Saves Boy From Vicious Attack". The boy says I am not a Bears fan either. The reporter asks well who do you cheer for? The boys replies it's the Green Bay Packers. The reporter starts writing his headline again, "Little Bastard From Wisconsin Kills Family Pet".

Captain Vincent Kilgore in Chi-pocalypse Now!

Sunday, February 15, 2004

Flogging A Dead Horse... 

Remember January 2001?




Well, There was an update for January 2004:



Thanks to the many who emailed!
    Flog me again...



A Bears Fan, A Vikings Fan... 

A Bears fan, a Vikings Fan, and a Packers fan are out walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. "I will give you each one wish, that's three wishes total," says the Genie.
The Bears fan says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Illinois. "With a blink of the Genie's eye, 'FOOM' the land in Illinois was forever made fertile for farming.

The Viking fan was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Minnesota, so that no infidels, Bears Fans or Packer Fans can come into our precious state." Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' there was a huge wall around Minnesota.

The Packer fan asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall." The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and completely surrounds the state; nothing can get in or out." The Packer fan says, "Fill it up with water."

A Packer Fan In A Bar... 

A Green Bay Packer fan in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a joke about Minnesota Viking fans?"

The guy next to him replies, "Well, before you tell that joke you should know something. I'm 6' tall and 220 pounds and I'm a Viking fan. The guy sitting next to him then said I'm 6'2" tall, 240 pounds and I'm a Viking fan too, and then the guy sitting next to him shouted out, I'm 6'5", 280 pounds and I'm a Viking fan, too. Now, do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The Packer fan says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it three times, not if I'm gonna have to explain it three times, not if I'm gonna have to explain it three times."

Wednesday, February 11, 2004

Found Some Leftovers Behind The Couch... 

Saturday, February 07, 2004

St. BF 

Has a new Saint been Coronated???


Sent in by one our devoted Packer Palace faithful.

Friday, February 06, 2004

Flogging A Dead Horse... 

The Season's over... So on with the Viking humor:

Q. What do you call 53 people sitting around a TV watching the Super Bowl?
A. The MINNESOTA VIKINGS

--- and ---

Q. What do the MINNESOTA VIKINGS and opossums have in common?
A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road


Click here for actual visible proof of that Magic Moment.

Sunday, February 01, 2004

SuperFavre's Big Blow-Out... 

How many Oakland Raiders does it take to change a flat tire?

One....unless it is a blow-out, then the whole team shows up.

This Packer Palace Fanatic survived the
Raider-Packer game unscathed...

Packer Plus Online ESPN NFL Loser @ NFL.COM Green Bay Press Gazette Packer Net Green Bay Packers Official  Rockwood Lodge 2004  Shane - Fat Oak Records They're Out There...They're Real!